Inerrant Lie #31

Another 'lie' from "God's ineffable, inerrant word":

In English, we often use 'fig- leaf' devices such as euphemisms and dysphemisms to 'cover- up' our lingual 'sleights- of- hand.' This is somewhat more honest than the way in which similar 'tricks' of vernacular are 'fig- leaved' in Hebrew: inasmuch as both operations-- euphemizing and dysphemizing-- are, in Hebrew, 'covered' by one and the same utility: a peculiarity the dictionary refers to as a 'shibboleth [Judges 12:5 & 6].'

In 1 Kings ['commonly' referred to as the 'Third Book of the Kings'], we encounter what must have been a particularly tasty 'fig' referred to by the scribe thereof as "Maachah, the daughter of Abishalom." I say she must have been particularly 'tasty' inasmuch as she was taken by her own son as queen and, in turn, bore him the son that replaced him as king.

1 Kings 15:1 & 2 reads: "Now in the eighteenth year of king Jeroboam the son of Nebat reigned Abijam over Judah. Three years reigned he in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Maachah, the daughter of Abishalom." Later in the same chapter, we read: "And in the twentieth year of Jeroboam king of Israel reigned Asa over Judah. And forty and one years reigned he in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was [the same] Maachah, the daughter of Abishalom [1 Kings 15:9 & 10]."

Notice how liberally the fig leaves are strewn over the passages concerning this same queen, in the Chronicles. In particular, notice how all the names but Asa's are 'shibbolethed'-- her father's beyond recognition. "Now in the eighteenth year of king Jeroboam began Abijah to reign over Judah. He reigned three years in Jerusalem. His mother's name also was Michaiah the daughter of Uriel of Gibeah [2 Chronicles 13:1 & 2]." How does "Maachah, the daughter of Abishalom" become sensibly, or responsibly, "Michaiah the daughter of Uriel of Gibeah?"

Furthermore, 2 Chronicles says of Abijam (or Abijah, as the case may be) that he married-- not only his own mother, but-- fourteen wives [2 Chronicles 13:21]. To further 'cover' the incestuous nature of this period of the nation's history, the scribe of 2 Chronicles makes no mention of Asa's mother or her name. This may be more shibboleth than lie; but, given the extraordinarily deceptive nature of the 'Chronicle' of it: it may as well be apprehended as a lie altogether.

At any rate, my guess is: 'Mikki' was hot as hell on Easter Sunday.